Video Notes:
Hi everyone, today we are going to talk about something that you might have heard of before, and that is the freeze response and a part of that response that you may not be so familiar with which is the functional freeze response.
We will take a look at what these things mean, what they look like in real life and things we can do to try and break out or turn off that response.
What is the freeze response
So just what is the freeze response?
Its a survival mechanism, its your brains way of protecting you when it thinks you are in danger. Back in the day if you couldnt fight or run from a predator then you could try freezing in place, a bit like playing dead so the threat doesnt notice you. The problem is, our brains haven’t evolved as much as our world has and we don’t usually have tigers, or mammouths wondering around that we need to concern ourselves with, instead we’ve got stressful jobs, we’ve got overwhelming email inboxs, we’ve got relationship problems, we’ve got social media pressures. But our brains can’t always tell the difference between a tiger and a never ending to do list.
And to add to this process of being consciously aware of threats, its also argued we have this unconscious process called neuroception which is where the nervous system uses environmental cues to determine if a situation is safe, dangerous or life threatening and that is all happening below our level of awareness.
What happens to the brain
So whats actually going on here? In these videos I try my best to make information accessible so I’m not going to go into loads of neuroscience, but there are a few parts of the brain that are probably quite helpful to know as part of your own learning about yourself.
So we have something called the amygdala. and roughly speaking your amygdala sits here (show hand brain model). Your amygdala is like an alarm system. Its always looking out for threats and if it finds one it sounds the alarm. And when that happens it takes over. This bit at the front is the prefrontal cortex. This part does things like help with decision making, problem solving, reasoning, social appropriateness, all those complex kinds of things. But when the amygala takes over it turns that bit off, or at least turns it down.
Or think of this example, if you are crossing the road and you start to cross when suddenly you are aware of a car coming quickly toward you. You dont stop in the road and then your prefrontal cortex kicks in and you generate thoughts like “That car is moving directly toward me, I need to get out of the way otherwise this is going to create a really a big mess of me, hmmm should i take a step back to where I was, or should run forward?” No, none of that happens, you almost instinctively take a step back - that is your amygdala starting a very quick automatic process for you. Its outside of conciousness. And then once you’re safe again, your pre frontal cortex kicks back in and then you go “woah, that was close!” All of that is natural, that is how it is designed to work.
So in that crossing the road example, the body went into fight or flight. It prepped your body to move quickly and take action, and step back, which is a bit like a flight behaviour, instead of trying to punch the oncoming car like some sort of superhero film.
But we are talking about freeze, and this doesn't get as much attention as fight or flight. Freeze kicks in when your brain decides that fighting or feeling isn't an option. Its like your brain going “okay, we’re overwhelmed here, there's no way out of this, so lets shut down and wait for this to hopefully pass”
And remember this is an automated process based in our biology, you don’t really have a say in the matter, you don't have much of a choice.
And our learning histories and experiences can impact this too.
Trauma
For some people, this response can be tied to past trauma. If you’ve learned from a young age that to stay safe you have to freeze. You have to stay still, not be noticed, not be seen, not be heard, and that way you don’t hurt then your brain might be more likely to keep that as a safety strategy for later. It worked then, you made it this far, so best keep doing it. That makes so much sense doesn’t it. And then it might be more likely to hit the freeze button again when it perceives any sort of threat. But the problem is your brain doesn't need the danger to actually be real, it only needs to feel like it might be real. So being asked to give a presentation at work, or having to have a difficult conversation, or being yelled at by a teacher or a manager, are all potential threats and how do you deal with threats to keep yourself safe - freeze response.
Or think about another situation where a child hasn’t feared for their safety in their environment, but they've learned to suppress their emotions. It could be because when they have expressed emotion in the past and been put down someone, or ridiculed for feeling such emotion, or been told its not appropriate to feel or express such emotion, then that child can learn ways to try and not feel that, to try and not show it, so in order to escape from internal bottling up, it results in a freeze or a functional freeze response.
And this doesn't have to be a response to the type of trauma we are thinking about, this could be the result of a child falling over and hurting themselves, because they've been playing, but then the care giver response is “don't cry” so that sends the message to hold in emotions. Or the care give response is they get dysregulated themselves and the child sees that so the child dampens their own response to try and regulate the care giver and you can see how over time that can reinforce not showing feelings. Or the caregiver sees the child expressing emotion and can’t hold that themselves and become dysregulated and then leaves the room or leaves the situation and the child learns that showing emotion leads to rejection and abandonment.
What does this look like in every day life
okay so what does this look like in every day life. Most people think of deer in the headlights. Its a classic example of what people think of when they think of freeze.
A freeze response can show up in big, obvious ways or in small almost sneaky ways.
You might feel like you literally cannot move, like your body is literally frozen.
You might feel mentally detached or dissociated, like you're not really there in the moment.
Your muscles might feel stiff, or have a sense of heaviness like something is weighing you down.
You might find that you hold your breath, or that you are trying to shrink into yourself to make yourself smaller and harder to spot.
And this is when we start thinking about this idea of functional freeze.
In a functional freeze you can still maintain awareness and functionality to respond to some degree to your surroundings. On the outside, if someone was looking at you, you may look calm and that you are going about your business. But internally you are most likely experiencing high levels of anxiety or distress and actually really detached from what you are doing.
This is when you are still going through the motions - you're at work, your having conversations with people, but there's a disconnection there. You're not really present. You might feel numb, spaced out, or like you are running on autopilot. You know when you sit down at your desk and you just stare at your computer screen, even though you've got loads of things to be doing…and you just…cant.
Or maybe your lying in bed with a long list of things you have to get up and accomplish, but your body feels physically heavy to move and you just cant get the energy level up to get moving…this is functional freeze.
You might be able to do more than that, and go about your day but you may be frozen in terms of emotional expression and attachment, yet you are still able to perform certain tasks or follow through on some basic instructions that you have been given. If you think back to our child who had learned to not express their emotions outwardly, then this type of response can follow you into adulthood and this is what it looks like, it doesn't escalate conflict, and it doesn't bring any further harm to you because you aren't displaying it, but inside you are suffering.
You might feel like you are detached, living life through a fog, or feeling numb but also strangely you might feel that are hyper vigilant to your envrionment, constantly scanning for danger but unable to fully connect with your emotions or physical sensations. You might come across to someone as passive or compliant but your body is having that fight, flight, freeze response, just without the observe outwards signs to other people.
As this goes on you might notice that you struggle with making decisions, being assertive, or connecting with your needs and making sure they are met such as isolating and disconnecting yourself from your social relationships.
And if this happens in times when consciously you think “i don't need to respond in this way right now” it can cause frustration or shame, but its important to remember, you didn't choose this, its not an active choice you are making, its an automatic survival response.
So what can we do about this.
Breaking out of freeze - move
So the good news is we can work on this. If you are completely stuck, or in that situation where you are struggling to move out of bed then the first thing you can do is move your body. Small, simple movements. Try just moving your fingers, or a finger. If you can do that then shaking out your hands. Or try moving your toes, and your foot and then stomping your feet. We are trying to re-engage the body, purposely get it to move to indicate to our brain that we are safe. remember work using the nervous system is all about getting a sense of safety.
Small wins
And what I've just said might sound ridiculous. What, I'm just going to move my fingers and stomp my feet, what about my never ending to do list, that is still there. We have to celebrate these little wins and reinforce to our brain that we are safe. if you are lying in bed and can’t get up to get started, then try just moving up the bed a bit so you are a bit more upright. Or if you can actually sitting up. This is already better than just lying in bed. Give yourself credit, you've made a start. Now try sliding one leg out of the duvet and onto the floor. Feel the foot on the floor. Celebrate that. every time you do this you signal to your brain that you are safe, you are capable, you are moving and you aren’t stuck. And those messages stack on top of each other until you are up.
Remember, everything is about trying to get a sense of safety. And that includes environmental safety. It is going to be incredibly difficult to get out of this if you are actually still unsafe. if you are still in an abusive relationship, if you are experiencing war, if you are living on the street then you need to try and find some sort of support. I know the big elephant in the room here is if you are experiencing functional freeze then the consequence of that is that its incredibly hard to reach out. Maybe there's one person you can turn to, one person you can visit, a friend, a support worker, a support service, a pastor, a church, a community centre, try and find some way to access some environmental safety even if its for a small part of the day. That also starts to activate the social engagement system and connecting with other people can start to restore that nervous system regulation.
Then we have internal safety, we can try things that can start to instil some internal safety.
Grounding exercises
Grounding can be helpful. I have a selection of a few on my channel. These can help bring you back to the present moment, which can stop your brain from spiralling further into freeze. You can do a simple feeling your feet on the ground exercise, or a breath exercise or 5 senses exercise.
Some people find the calm place exercise really helpful where you try and picture a place where you feel calm, and therefore safe, it doesn't have to be a real place it can be made up, and then that starts to relax the body and as it relaxes it starts to come out of freeze.
Build up of stress
Quite often people think that the freeze response happens straight after something sudden happens. Like you hear a loud noise, and go into freeze, you hear someone shouting at you and you go into freeze. But sometimes it can be lots of relatively smaller stressors building up on each other over time that leads to functional freeze. It can creep up on you. Like each stressor is a brick placed on your back, and eventually you end up with so many bricks on your back you cant move. So if you can, I appreciate this is potentially a lot further down the line but trying to build in some de stressors into your life, or remove some stressors if you can. So start thinking about exercise like going for a walk, or yoga, or maybe dancing, things that include some movement. Think about trying to widen those social connections and building a support system around yourself. Again, I know this is easier said than done.
Summary
It feels like we covered a lot.
So, to sum it all up, the freeze response is your brain's way of trying to protect you when it senses danger. Whether it’s from trauma or just the overwhelming stress of daily life, the freeze response can show up in big ways, like feeling physically frozen, or in more subtle ways, like functional freeze, where you’re going through the motions but feeling disconnected.
But here’s the good news—you can start to break out of it. Small movements like shaking your hands, grounding exercises, and even celebrating little victories like getting out of bed can help signal to your brain that you’re safe. Over time, these small actions build up and help you regain control.
And remember, safety is key. If you’re in a situation that’s actually unsafe, like an abusive environment, finding some support is essential. And if you’re dealing with chronic stress, try to reduce those stressors and build in moments of movement or connection. It’s not an overnight fix, but every small step you take helps.
Thank you for watching today. I hope this video has given you some helpful tools to understand and manage the freeze response. If you found it useful, please share it with someone who might benefit from it. And don’t forget to check out the other videos on grounding exercises and building a sense of safety. Take care, and I’ll see you next time!"
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