This is an exercise to help you try and get some distance from your thoughts so they don’t dominate your behaviour. Getting some distance from thoughts allows you to see the thought appear, acknowledge it or maybe take a look at it, and then allow it to pass.
This means we don’t argue with ourselves if the thought is true or not, we don’t look for evidence if it is true or not.
We don’t fight with the thoughts. We don’t use thoughts as commands of thing we MUST do.
To get the most out of this video then please take part in the entire exercise as the different parts build upon each other.
I want you to think of a thought that stings for you a bit. There is a little pain behind it and you sometimes find yourself getting stuck on it. When I say stuck on it I mean that you spend too long focussing on it, and it gets in the way of you taking some action.
This works well with an I am statement, so I will use the example I am a fraud. And I say that as if that thought pops in my mind, that I am a fraud, and I start thinking who am I to be making these videos, who am I to be trying to help other people, then you can see that could start to get in the way of me making more videos.
So, I am a fraud.
I want you to think of your sentence and say it in your mind, or out loud for about 20 seconds or so. Long enough for you to feel the impact of those words on you.
I’ll do it too. I am a fraud I am a fraud I am a fraud
Think about how that felt. For me it seems quite real when I hear that inside my head.
Let’s try something else.
This time I want you to add I am having the thought that in front of your sentence. So mine would be I am having the thought that I am a fraud. And again we are going to say that for about 20 seconds.
I am having the thought that I am a fraud.
Think about how that felt. Did you notice any difference between the first time you said it, and this time?
Let’s try one more way. This time I want you to add I notice to the front of your sentence. So mine would be I notice I am having the thought that I am a fraud.
And again, spend 20 seconds or saying that.
I notice I am having the thought that I am a fraud.
What happened that time? Did that feel any different.
Every ones experience of this exercise is different.
So this doesn't make the thought disappear. We cant do that - a bit like in my don't think about the pen exercise video, we cant make thoughts disappear, and if we try they rebound back harder.
Personally, with this exercise, I feel some separation from the thought when I say I notice I am having the thought that, it doesn’t quite have the same amount of power over me. Its not a lot, but its enough to take the sting out of it, its enough to allow me some space to recognise the impact it may have on my behaviour, such as not continuing to make videos.
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